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 | Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
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President Bush has a plan to fight global warming. He says that if we need to, we can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius.
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 | Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown.
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Yesterday, a group of scientists warned that because of global warming, sea levels will rise so much that parts of New Jersey will be under water. The bad news? Parts of New Jersey won't be under water.
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 | Lisa: "Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"
Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness."
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Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some kind of bonus?
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 | The Union of Concerned Scientists says the current administration manipulates and suppresses science. The administration points out that the Union of Bought and Paid for Scientists disagrees.
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The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
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 | Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
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The Senate is now considering increasing government subsidies for corn growers to produce more ethanol. If we produce enough ethanol we can postpone our next invasion of a Middle Eastern country for two to three years.
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 | Barbra Streisand told Diane Sawyer that we're in a global warming crisis, and we can expect more and more intense storms, droughts and dust bowls. But before they act, weather experts say they're still waiting to hear from Celine Dion.
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Here's good news: George W. Bush says that he is committed to fighting global warming. Yeah, well, he nipped that in the bud, didn't he? ... President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun.
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 | According to a new U.N. report, the global warming outlook is much worse than originally predicted. Which is pretty bad when they originally predicted it would destroy the planet.
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It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
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 | The report on climate change said that humans are very likely making the planet warmer. To which Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, can't blame me for that one.'
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According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House.
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| There's something wrong with a person who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after they've only measured water in it.
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President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said 'It's just springtime.
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 | The college idealists who fill the ranks of the environmental movement seem willing to do absolutely anything to save the biosphere, except take science courses and learn something about it.
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If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the Environmentalists react?
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